I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
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