Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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