Well apparently he's into motor boating.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
