he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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