Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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