That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
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I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
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I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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