I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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