Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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