My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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