he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
