He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
