Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
