Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize