Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
