Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
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