Joe is yelling at the trees again.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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