Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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