hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize