BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
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