Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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