NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
