But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
