you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
