dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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