Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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