Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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