so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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