You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
