I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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