Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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