I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
