AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
