Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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