Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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