before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
