so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
