there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
