Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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