do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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