Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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