dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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