She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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