Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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