that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
