If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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