It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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