You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
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