just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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