I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
