Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
