apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
