That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
