found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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