Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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