Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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