I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
