yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Such a big mess for such a small penis
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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