she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
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Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
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I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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