I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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