He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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