My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
