i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
