When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
