Duck Duck Cougar?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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