tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
A bitchslap is in order.
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