...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
