living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Randomize
